In France they affectionately refer to it as la petite morte, or ‘the little death.’ No many how many times we experience an orgasm, it doesn’t get old or boring. Most men will tell you that a woman who can achieve orgasm is the most thrilling of all sex partners. There’s nothing more gratifying to the male ego than satisfying a woman to the point of eruption, and marveling at the blissful shrieks of pure, uninhibited sexual rapture that escape her grateful lips.
Let’s face it: the female sexual orgasm is the holy grail of sex for any guy who claims to have any degree of sexual prowess. Whether you’re casual dating or in a commitment, pleasuring a woman to the point of body-rocking, earth shattering Nirvana-like bliss is a secret most men would kill to master, but few have the patience to perfect. If you’re still fumbling your way around a clitoris, or your sexual encounters are over before they start, there’s still hope for you if you take the time to read these helpful guide to getting your girlfriend to orgasm every time.
First, don’t feel bad if you’ve never made a woman climax yet. Feel bad if you haven’t, and you continue to miss out. The female genitalia is far more complex than male, so it’s really no surprise that even women find it hard to achieve an orgasm. Love has nothing to do with it. 94 per cent of women, according to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, achieve orgasm through clitoral play. It’s not as easy for women to climax as it is for men, but female orgasms are an overwhelming, all-consuming physical sensation that can be experienced multiple times within a short span of time. How awesome is that for you? If you’re trying to get better at sex, being a generous lover will reward you both again and again as you shatter the bed in the throes of ecstasy.
The biggest secret to getting a woman to orgasm? Setting and mood. That’s right. It’s not the size of your tool, the size of your bank account or your biceps. Women don’t achieve an orgasm by rapid thrusts of your massive penis. They need to feel comfortable, appreciated, safe and excited. Sexual desire should be something you build slowly, not turn on suddenly like an appliance. The more anticipation you build, the more responsive she’ll be to all your suave moves in the bedroom. That’s why it’s called a climax.
If you want to really improve your sex life, don’t rush the experience. If your partner feels pressured or rushed, it will be much harder for her to achieve orgasm. Lavish time and attention on every part of her body from head to toe. Fingertips, toes, knees, and thighs can all be very receptive to caressing and fondling. Hold her firmly in your embrace and look with passionate intent into her eyes. Closing your eyes the whole time you’re having sex sends the wrong signal. Are you meditating or trying to imagine someone else?
There are three erogenous clitoral zones that can stimulate an orgasm. It’s different for every woman so you’ll need to do some sensitive exploring with your tongue to target the right area. Women can achieve orgasm not only through direct play with the clitoris, but stimulation to the side of the clitoris as well as below can trigger an avalanche of blissful sexual tremors.
It might sound a bit cliché or seem overboard, but a tasteful application of scented oils, music, aromatic candles and bite-size sweets can add spice to your bedroom sessions. By stimulating her sense of smell, taste and sound, you engage her more fully in sex and help remove other mental distractions (work problems, family conflicts, errands, parking tickets). Taking the time to connect emotionally will increase her pleasure and yours as you attend to her body with a gentle but erotic full body massage. Relaxing fragrances are used in aromatherapy to help patients unwind gradually into a receptive state.
Gradually increasing the intensity of your clitoral play is the best way to help your date reach her climax. Alternate this stimulation between the use of your fingers and your tongue. Before removing her undergarments, start by gently rubbing and caressing her clitoris beneath her panties. Move gradually from the vaginal opening to the sides, to her labia, until you reach her clitoris. Stimulating her clitoris directly will have the most immediate effect but don’t focus on any one spot too long. She’ll need time to breathe and recover from the heart-pounding sensory overload. Periods of intensity followed by gentle caressing and playful touching will drive her positively mad with pleasure.
There’s a protective flap of skin over the clitoris that can be gently lifted to reveal an extremely sensitive area. Stimulating this small patch of real estate, as well as the upper left portion of the clitoris, guarantees an orgasm for most women.
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