The Pain of Dealing with Cheating
Men and women handle cheating very differently. They think about cheating differently. For women cheating constitutes an emotional invasion of her territory. For men cheating constitutes a sexual invasion of his territory. For both men and women who concern themselves with issues of monogamy, there is a psychological predilection toward conventional relationships, that is, one guy and one girl.
But the fact is that not every guy or girl is well suited to be in a monogamous relationship. No matter what our culture’s idea standard for relationships is, there will always be some men and some women who don’t fit into that mold very well. In these instances, it’s difficult for them to handle monogamous relationships without feeling hemmed in and imprisoned.
No matter how much they love you or care about you, being true to themselves means having multiple lovers. That’s what they want out of relationships. So when you don’t share that kind of relationship style, they can cause a great deal of pain.
Forgiveness After Cheating
Forgiveness after cheating comes with recognizing that none of this was your fault. It’s not because you’re a bad lover or a bad romantic partner. If that were the case they would have just broken up with you and moved on. But they saw something liked and they took it. Whether they’re a guy or a girl, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with this, it’s the not-being-honest about your intentions, your desires, or intentions for the relationship that is the problem. Eventually they will come to terms with the fact that they’re just not meant to be in monogamous relationships and find a relationship style that works for them.
So forgiveness really comes from recognizing that not only wasn’t it your fault, but there is nothing you could have done differently to make the relationship work.
Forgiving Her for Cheating
Forgiving a girl who had a sexual relationship with another man when you thought the two of you were supposed to be exclusive is generally exceptionally difficult. Men can have some serious jealousy issues that bring out the ugliest parts of their personality. What you need to recognize is that this girl was not for you and she will likely do the same thing to the next guy she is with. Find someone who shares your relationship style and move on.
Forgiving Him for Cheating
For girls it can be equally difficult to forgive men for an affair with another woman. Questions like, “Am I not good enough”, “Is she prettier than me”, all will weigh on her as she tries to reconcile what went wrong. The key to moving on after the cheating is to reconcile what about you makes you special and desireable to a lover and finding someone who appreciates that. Sometimes even guys who are typically monogamous aren’t ready for serious relationships so you may need to be prepared to wait for them to settle down.
Moving on after the affair
Sometimes one off lovers occupy a niche for guys and girls who are just beginning to explore their sexuality. If you’re young still and you’re worried about cheating then you need to consider your insecurities before you start dating exclusively with people. Having more experience with the opposite sex can only be a good thing.